I woke up this morning internally panicked, like a lost child searching for her parents, something inside of me was begging for guidance.
But, nothing was out of the ordinary. In fact, things seemed routinely the same. Where was this growing discontent coming from?
All day, I tried to ignore it. And for a while it worked. Elijah and I went to the park and built sandcastles in the playground sandbox. The day was revitalizing and beautiful. It felt like a warm spring day, rather than a chilled-winter afternoon as February should.
At times the sun was shining so brightly it was nearly impossible to see what our hands were building. But with a little faith, we allowed our hands to lead the way.
Soon after we got home, Elijah fell asleep. I laid with him, watching him breath sweetly in and out. Sand bits congregated like crumbs fallen into a crease, and I could feel them rubbing across my back — remnants from our day together.
Once he woke up, I got him dressed to go to his babysitter’s little brother’s birthday party. She picked him up, and what I assumed would be a nice break instead jolted my mind and body into a feeling of overwhelming emptiness.
I tried to clean. I went to the grocery store. I tried to write but I couldn’t focus. And my TV wouldn’t turn on. It was then I realized, what I needed was to reconnect with the universe. It’s so easy to get caught up in life, and all of its day-to-day needs, while ignoring or forgetting about the needs within. And so my soul was crying out, begging to be nurtured and fed.
In my bathroom on top of my toilet sat two candles collecting dust, one to burn for the spirit, and the other to show gratitude and appreciation. I picked both of them up and lit them, grabbed my deck of angels cards and sat down on the floor to do a reading. I prayed for guidance, and love.
And, I made a request — I asked my divine guide(s) how I can bring more love into the world. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and once again allowed my hands to lead.
Effortlessly, six cards were chosen. Once completed, I opened my eyes to find the most beautiful, carefully crafted messages:
“Divine Guidance” — You have asked and we have heard. You are being divinely guided right now. The gut feelings you are experiencing, the knowingness, the visions and the inner voice are all working with you, not against you, to tell you what you need to know. Trust and follow this guidance.
“Forgiveness” — You are being asked to release anger and irritation. When feelings of unforgiveness are held in your heart, the only one being punished is you. Release, let go and return to love.
“Music” — Immerse yourself into beautiful music. This music will lift your spirit above the earthbound concepts and elevates your thoughts to divine love.
“Harmony” — New Harmony dawns upon you. Shift your viewpoint to that of love, and you will bring love and healing into the world. With love, conflict drops away and in its place reveals the truth about everyone and everything.
“Healing” — Have faith that God is working through you as a healer. Hold thoughts of love around any situation that seems to need healing, and give thanks to God for this healing. The effects of this will touch many people and many lives.
“New Love” — Open your heart to a new infusion of divine love. This is a time of wondrous changes in your love life, be aware and be open as divine guidance is working things out for your highest good.
And there I had it — so simple yet so profound — guidance, forgiveness, music, harmony, healing and new love.
I sat stunned, with grateful tears welling up in my eyes, barely able to mutter out a “thank you.” Goosebumps began to cover my otherwise comfortably warm body, and discontent floated away, quickly replaced by love and gratitude.